Ten Days

"Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." ~ Isaiah 30:20-21, NIV


Today I awoke to crying. These past few days have been tumultuous to say the least. Speaking to a friend yesterday, she told me to wait 10 days and I'll see times of refreshing come soon enough. Interestingly, I start school exactly 10 days from today. I don't know what to expect. So many changes will take place. I don't want to let go of my familiar surroundings even if it is choking me to death! I spent time talking to another good friend at the block yesternight until 4am. It's amazing how God reveals that His love is there, faithfully. Only God's love is ever so faithful and constant. Every time I invest too much in creation to fulfill my longing to be loved is when I come across disastrous moments.

You know when you sing songs at church about obedience. "Ill obey and serve you...I surrender all... Empty me". Well, never have I expected what the cost would be. When Jesus says lay down your life, He meant it. And again and again, I'm learning to adjust to changes, for He gives and takes away.

I never wanted to, in my fleshly desire, make ultimatums in various decisions. I knew it was the most loving thing, for God was directly me in such a way. The only sucky part is that all those who are affected by my decision don't understand that it stemmed from a deeper love. Perhaps I didn't communicate it properly. Regardless, what's done is done, and all I can do now is let go of the past, and embrace the new awakenings of tomorrow.