When you have all that you want...

It's 5:10 am. I am up.
The noise trails of cars race by my apartment, following the hush of street trees.
Reading Heavenly Man, yet again, has humbled me.

One day I will die. And you will too.
What is this life that we waste on distractions and frivolous notoriety?
"meaningless! meaningless! says the teacher."

Living in Los Angeles, I've become accustomed to:

1. Making sure to not wait in line.
2. Always finding a way to try out the latest hot spots.
3. Keeping: good grades, a most supportive boyfriend, and physical/social attentiveness

It is a thrill, to always have everything you want. Have everything you want.
Apartment on the west side with plenty of parking. Art Director Boyfriend who does work for high profile companies and clientele. The ability to: edit film, write papers, read books, dance, analyze, business forecast, market, counsel, write curriculum, do bible study, cook, find deals, photoshop/finalcut/protools, stopmotion.So much food in the fridge that it spoils within a week. I use sprigs of Basil, from my Basil plant, not the dry stuff. Saffron to color and flavor rice. I work out for free at UCLA's gym, and use their saunas / showers. Eat out: Allora in Weho. Bottega in DT. Real Food in BH. Planet in SM. Sandwiches on Larchmont. Sprinkles. Lawrys. Flemings. Taurino. Tasca. RoadtoSeoul. Phoenix.Kogi. Pinks.Unagi.Pacos.Blue Marlin.Novel.Intelligensia.Cashbah.Private Lofts.Lofty prices.Fashion shows.Benefits.Les Deux/ Citizen/Green Door/etc. HotelCafe.MagicCastle.RevoLA.Shepard Fairy. Shakira.Melrose. JetRag.Goodwill.944. GOOD.Freedom and Fashion...

My boyfriend is the almost perfect boyfriend in existence. Only Jesus is my perfect boyfriend.I have supportive parents, who don't beat me (anymore at least). I love my church small group. I have friends. I have more than most, and I know it.

I dont want any of this if that is all there is to life.
There will always be this insatiable appetite for more, if I choose to worship myself.
Me.Me.Me.Me.Me.

I humbly ask you my fellow brother/sister in Christ (if you're reading this), to keep me in prayer. I want to use all that He has blessed me with for His glory, to expand His kingdom, and show His love to many who are hurting or not realizing His love.

My friend just emailed me today about how one of our FnF team members accepted Christ.
And again, I was reminded.


The journey and fight is not about me.
It's about Jesus Christ, and my life isn't over yet.